flamage

Last weekend it was chilly enough to try out my new fireplace in my condo. Now, I have never used gas before, just a regular fireplace...and boy can I make a mean fire from wood. So, I asked Sean if he would light it, but he was engrossed in a game of poker on the computer with Gary, and Kendra had her nose buried in her computer watching some new movie she had downloaded. And, I don't know if you know these people when they are engrossed in something, but they rarely look up, much less acknowledge you when you address them. So, here I am, standing in the middle of the living room with 3 people staring at their computers when I ask Sean if he would do it. Without looking up, he said, "Nah, you go ahead and try it." I reminded him I had no idea what to do, so his brief explanation of "just turn on the gas and light it," followed. OOookay... So i turned in on...high. And, I didn't know how much gas would escape as I turned it on...high. And, unfortunately for me, the lighter wouldn't light right away. Do you see where this is going?

Well, so I am sitting there clicking the lighter as gas is spewing into the living room and I think to myself, "I wonder how much gas has come out?" But, decide to forge ahead. I click again a couple more times and then WHOOOOSH! Flames fly out of the fireplace and up the wall, burning off some of my hair in the process. I look up to see everyone staring at me with their mouths hanging open and Gary says, "those were really big flames..." Then, Sean sticks his little nose in the air and takes a few whiffs in the air. "It smells like burnt hair in here." My hand flies to my forehead to feel crispy hair. Do you think they are paying attention to me now? Kendra looks back at her movie and mumbles something a about flamage and burned hair and calmly goes back to watching her movie.

Do these people realize I almost killed myself!??! I run to the bathroom and see that my little hairs on the front of my hair are completely singed off and all that remains are little stubs of burnt hair. ew. I come back in the room to see Sean demonstrating to everyone how big the flames were, pointing at the wall where they rose to.

He looks over at me in disbelief and I remind him that maybe next time he should just take over for me and trust me when I say I have no idea what I am doing.